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COMMON QUESTIONS... QUICK ANSWERS
How many children should I invite?
Invite how many you feel you can handle if you were without any parents staying at the party. Although experts recommend one party guest for each year of your child’s age (age 5 = five guests), this rarely happens. We advise more numbers than what most party experts recommend. Why? Because we are talking about real life, not a book.
Age 3 – no more than 10 guests, 5 is better. Figure on 1 adult to 2 children ratio. Party will be free play.
Age 4 – no more than 15 guests, 10 is better. Figure on 1 adult to 3 children ratio. Some main activity needs to be planned to keep kids interested.
Ages 5 to 6 to 7 – no more than 18 guests, 15 or less is better. Figure on 1 adult to 5 children ratio. Games are now a staple structure to a party but kids still get distracted from them.
Ages 8 to 10 – parties start to go down in numbers, as child has her/his own idea of who to invite. Games and structure are very larger part of the party.
It will be impossible to plan an intimate party where your child is the focus for such a large group. Try having two parties, one for family, one for schoolfriends.
If you must have a LARGE party than check out the longer article on Party Planning.
DON’T invite anyone unless you can carry it off if they attend the party.
At ages three and four, most parents stay at the party with their child; it is very possible that siblings will attend. At five and older, few parents stay at the party, preferring to drop the guest off and return later.
Some birthday moms want the parents to stay to assist in "crowd control"; others want them to leave and view parents who stay as an additional burden to entertain. This is a personal preference. If this is a big deal to you (either way) let parents know on the invitation what you expect.
Start with the guest list. Keep it small. The number of guests you invite increases the cost of your party dramatically. It is much easier to have a smaller party (about 5 to 8 guests) with really nice favors than to supply for a large party (over 15).
For example, if your party budget is $5 per child figure the cost difference with 10 guests ($50) and 20 guests ($100)! Quite a difference!
Make your own cake. Use fewer party decorations and put them at the table or front door where they have the most impact. Limit party favors. Use your own plateware or buy solid colored plates instead of those with decorations.
On the invitation plan for 1 hour and a half for ages 4 to 6, possibly two hours for over six. Why? Because your final party will probably end up being about 2 hours by the time parents and children arrive and depart. If you state two hours on your invitation your party will end up being 2 and a half!
If you are renting a facility or room, make sure you allow for time before the party to set up and time afterwards to clean up, into the time you need the party area.
If the entire class is not invited DO NOT DISTRIBUTE THEM AT SCHOOL. Mail them or hand them out to parents in a more private setting.
Generally kids start to have a general idea of the "type" of party they want around age 4. However, you will find that fours, fives and even some sixes, change their minds OFTEN during the planning stage before their party so DON'T give them too many choices. Pick out two ideas they really like and than have them choose one. Stick to it!
Choices can be from favorite television shows (Blues Clues, Sesame Street, Scooby Doo, Barney, Teletubbies etc...). Maybe from something they especially like (dress up, construction trucks, fire trucks, Barbie etc) or you could choose a favored hobby or interest such as animals, fishing, bug hunting, craft making, coloring etc...
Once you have a "theme" than you pick out decorations, food, party favors and activities that match the theme. You can even ask for "presents" to be within that theme (our Lego party had all Lego presents for instance). Themes are a popular party method because it is easy to put together once you have a central idea of what you want to do.
Whatever you choose it should mean something to your child. Put their interests first.
Do what your child likes not what you like. You are not the birthday child. If it is really a theme you detest, try to tone it down a little bit. For instance if Barbie is your nemesis don’t plan on Barbie plateware and tablecloth… instead go with plastic party ware in bright neon colors with a purple tablecloth.
I recently did a party for a mom who INSISTED on doing a pirate party for her daughter, instead of the more traditional princess party. Because the mother did what she wanted (I asked her if her daughter was really into pirates and her reply was "no, but we are going to do what I want.") the birthday girl had a mediocre party and refused to dress up as the captain.Don't get me wrong, I don't think all little girls have to be princesses but this example shows that the mother did not take in consideration what the daughter wanted...and ergo the party was not a success.
You do? Than turn off the television! At this age television is starting to dramatically influence your child's likes and dislikes. Don't want a Batman (Rated R) version? Don't want Barbie? Than turn off the TV.
If you think your child is obsessed with being a princess or a super-hero, rest assured that this is a phase and it will pass. You'll be thinking fondly of Barbie when she is 16 and your wondering how to do a party for a bunch of jaded adolescents.
If you have made reservations with a party service, many times they want an exact count of how many will attend (especially for tea parties where food is being served). Also, to get your party bags together you need to know how many are coming.
So if you haven't heard back from parents... call THEM. Many parents don't RSVP because they think "it's only a child's party" not thinking you need to know a guest number to plan food and refreshments. Be sure to ask if they intend to bring siblings as that will increase your guest total.
1.) Invitations. Parents like to make them personal and cute. Get the birthday child involved by helping you. Even ordinary pre-made invites can be dressed up with stickers and markers, especially on the envelopes.
2.) Cake. Sheet cakes are just so ho-hum boring. At your local bakery (not the ones in the supermarkets) find out what other cakes they offer. Make sure the icing is in your child's favorite colors and the cake is a favorite flavor. Have it made the day before so you can pick it up than instead of the birthday party day.
3.) Decorations. For the biggest impact put them at the door and at the birthday table.
4.) Games. Realize that for five and under parties are primarily free play. Have very easy games that involve all the children at the same time. Avoid competitive games where kids lose.
5.) Time. Keep your party under 2 hours. Kids get too tired to handle the excitement if the party goes longer.
6.) Help. Do time-saving steps... have the balloons delivered instead of picking them up; decorate the house the night before when kids are ASLEEP; have your children spend the morning of the birthday party with someone else such as grandma; and PLEASE have another adult there to help manage crowd control.
7.) Relax. Enjoy your child's birthday. Don't worry is something goes wrong... kids don't notice.
For children, ages 4 and younger, I recommend not opening presents during the party. Open them after guests go home.
At age 5, children start to show some restraint when faced with others getting presents. Use discretion such as handing out party favors at this time or move them into an exciting game such as hitting a piņata.Realize though that once presents are opened, the party is basically "over." The focus will be on the loot and not on your party theme, games or food.
Favors can be quite a deal at parties. It also increases the cost of your party dramatically.
I recommend a budget of about $4 per child for favors. This should provide one nice favor and 2 smaller ones. Check out Dollar Stores for the best prices and variety of do-dads. Party favors found at traditional party stores will be the most expensive and shoddy.
The best favors? Are ones that 1.) fit the theme of the party; 2.) involve the guests (i.e. stringing a necklace, a photo, coloring etc..; 3.) are personal such as a photo of the guest or something with the guest's name on it; and 4.) are not lots of cheap stuff but one or two really nice gifts.
They are HOT! Kids love them but for some reason I've heard recently that the "party experts" are not recommending them. They can also be a bit messy with stuff all over your lawn.
They are best done outside. Have a line of clothesline so an adult can raise and lower it. This ensures all will have a chance to try to hit it before it breaks. If it refuses to break, let an adult hit. Be sure to have loot bags ready to be filled so stuff is put in the bags instead of laying in your lawn.
Ages 3 ~ your party is 100 percent free play. Don't organize. Provide plenty of toys to play with that fit the theme of the party. Being at the park or the local indoor playground are popular at this age. Circle games, sing-alongs, and finger plays are fun but kids have a very short attention span. Don't bother hiring an entertainer, such as a clown or magician. Kids can't keep focused. Party ideas ~ favorite television characters (Barney, Teletubbies, Blue's Clues, Sesame Street), Numbers, Alphabet, Animals, Teddy Bears, etc... Teach the birthday song!
Ages 4 ~ still 80 percent free play. Plan on about three games. Don't expect all to participate. The smaller the party, the more will play organized games. Plan games that keep all involved but are not competitive. Plan for some outdoor time doing very physical games if possible. Kids are starting to have an attention span for entertainment so professionals such as clowns, magicians and stuff are a good thing. Keep it short. Don't open presents if possible.
Ages 5 ~ About 50 percent free play or more depending on the size of the party and your child's attention span. Party now needs more structure. Your child will be able to realize her/his birthday is coming up and perhaps can offer suggestions. Need about 5 games but don't expect all to participate. Pretend play is now a big part. Don't get competitive. For girls, being a princess and doing dress-up starts to peak. Boys are into building and large motor skills, such as jumping and running.
Ages 6 to 7 ~ 60 percent or more spent with games or craft projects. With maturity and attending school, children need more structured games. Simple picture and sometimes word clues can be used. Parents will stop attending the party so plan on smaller parties and less help from guest's parents. All-girl parties start to emerge. Your child will definitely have ideas about his/her party. It becomes harder to hand out invitations because the entire class is not invited.
Ages 8 to 10 ~ 70 - 90 percent or more spent with games or craft projects. Children really enjoy games at this age. Be sure to have some appropriate to their level. Children still want to play what we might think of are silly games. Definitely consult your son or daughter about his/her wishes. Children are becoming competitive but can get their feelings hurt so try to make it where everyone gets a prize.
A note about age groups - although your child will be turning a certain age, let's say 6, she may have friends attend who are out of her age group, such as friends that are 4 or just turning five, or what about older kids at 8? Even within a school group, children can be six months older or younger which has a definite impact on how much they can comprehend or participate.When you have differences in age groups you have to realize that your games have to be made to fit the YOUNGEST... or you have to have a separate area for them to play.
So your 6 year old party may not have as many games or crafts as you might think because the younger group won't participate. This is completely based upon developmental factors of learning that no parent has control over. So don't get worried if the younger kids are not "participating" as much as you thought -- they are still having a great time.
When opening up presents, write the name of the giver on the box. Later go back and figure out who gave what. Children can dictate, do a paint handprint, or write his/her name. If you take photos of guests at the party, you can send each a photo along with the thank you. A thoughtful, one line thank you is enough and is always appreciated.
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